Ah, yes. “The Music Man” is 1962’s timeless classic about a transient, older, man who tries to coerce large groups of children into bending to his will. I’m not going to debate the subtle pedophiley-ness. Instead, I am here to ponder the merits of one of the film’s central pieces, a song called “Iowa Stubborn.” In this song, the people of Iowa talk at length about what douchebags they are, and then plead for Professor Harold Hill to “give them a try” in spite of it.
Having never traveled to Iowa and having no desire to, I’m going to form all of my opinions on them based on this film. I submit that these Iowans are clearly mentally disturbed or, at the very least, socially retarded. Why would they flamboyantly sing their flaws to newcomers in a spontaneous dance number? If you’re going to do that, at least wait until after the person agrees to stay. Common sense. Who knows how many others have been driven away by the abrasiveness of these Iowans? They’re losing revenue because of they don’t want to hide that they’re assholes. Meanwhile, the rest of us go on pretending we’re not.
Fuck you, Iowa. I’m not playing your petty broadway mind games. I’m never visiting you, and I’m never buying tickets if your NAMBLA boy bands go on tour.
College Butter 