Dear Carnival Cruise Line,
There are few feelings in this world more disappointing than boarding a Carnival Cruise ship and not being greeted by the smell of greasy churros and vomit. Talk about false advertising. As someone who spent some of the greatest years of their life making out behind various carnival tents and awkwardly sharing cotton candy sticks with gangly band girls, I can attest that your ships are nothing like carnivals.
The various employees on the ship were clean-shaven, friendly, and generally pleasant. These are not the carnies I know and love. A true Carnival cruise line would be loaded with cigarette smoking men with mullets in purple shirts, bearing their three-toothed grins at everyone who passed by; men who bark at you in a Beetlejuice voice, taunting you to spray water at a rubber duck that’s been nailed to a wooden post. But no. There was none of that. I couldn’t even find a port-o-potty. How do you explain that? I doubt you can.
It’s time to get your act together and deliver to the people what you’ve actually promised. Namely, floors covered with popcorn and littered with used condoms, tents with novelty items sold at unbelievably high rates, and funnel cakes. If I don’t receive back word that you’ve started serving drinks in elongated, green, alien-shaped, plastic cups and dolling out generic Tweetie Bird stuffed animals with stuffing coming out and discolored beaks to avoid copyright infringement, I will be switching to Royal Caribbean. Sincerely,
Unsatisfied customer
PS: I do have to give you credit for the copious amounts of alcohol on board. But that’s it.
kids love stuffed animal because they are very cute and soft to touch ..
of course cruise ships are expensive but of course the trip is very nice `~`
stuffed animals are very cute and lovely, i bet that most kids and even women loves them ~*~
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